2023 Wedding Wishlist - From a Wedding Photographer
I’ve been to ohhh, about 50 weddings this year. Some I second shot, some I was the lead photographer for. I’ve seen a lot of hitchin’ in 2022!
There are some things I loved and things I loathed. Weddings I came home completely exhausted and annoyed from, and weddings I came home from exhausted and wound up with a permanent smile on my face.
Too many weddings involved unhealthy levels of stress, pressure, and discomfort for the sake of tradition and expectation. Too many had dresses that were a last choice and suits that were ill-fitting because the human wearing it didn’t want to speak up. That’s so not cool!!
When you’re getting married, you should be THRILLED to be there! Your outfits should be comfy and unique to you, your decor and colors should reflect your personality, and no one but you and your partner should be making decisions on your catering, your decor, your seating chart, and what you choose to include and exclude in your day.
So let’s dive in. Listen. You may not agree with everything in here. And that’s okay! But if you do, and you’re looking for a wedding photographer who gets it, head over to that cute lil’ contact page and hit me up. We may just be the perfect match!
Up first… BIG OL’ WEDDING PARTIES.
If your wedding party makes up most of your guest list, I am so sold on your wedding it’s not even FUNNY. Your best pals are already on the list, right? So why not keep that list small and make your reception the best party ever? And, if you do co-ed getting ready hours, you get to hang out the whole day! Literally the best.
Get ready with your partner.
I know that tradition outweighs a lot of opinions on this one. But, personally? I’d rather spend the whole day with my partner than only 6 hours where we’re exhausted and distracted. I promise, I promise that seeing each other at the aisle will still be incredibly special. And if you walk with each other down the aisle? You’ll be hanging on to each other for dear life. Every moment together should feel more special than the last, and I love seeing couples spend every second they can together.
Supportive. Parents. Period.
Parents and family not pushing their wants and needs on you? Count me IN.
Parents dancing on the dance floor and smiling till their faces hurt? Down.
Parents understanding that their children are individuals separate from them and are allowed and encouraged to pave their own way in life are a different breed. In my obviously humble opinion *hair flip*, this should be the norm. But unfortunately, it’s not.
Your parents and family should not decide your caterer, they should not pick out your outfit, and they shouldn’t demand certain traditions from you and your partner.
Now, if you WANT their help and delegate jobs to them, that’s awesome! But I am so hopeful that I’ll see less kids upset with their parents because their wedding day is derailed by a parent’s decision.
Partners who aren’t checked out for the entire day.
Alright. Look. I get that big parties and being the center of attention just is not it for people. Same!! My husband was so against being the center of attention on our wedding day. But he was engaged, laughing, having fun with his wedding party, and was smiling the entire day. When we got back to our hotel he said that it was the best day ever, and he was so happy with how everything turned out. He set up decor while my hair was being done, and made sure everything looked the way I wanted. If he hadn’t? I have zero clue how the day would have gone. There was no one I trusted more to bring my vision alive (I was a total DIY bride), and him being totally engaged and included was super important to me.
If your partner is just so against all the ideas you’re bringing to them and is resistant and maybe hesitant, maybe take a step back and have an open and vulnerable conversation. I can’t say what that will look like, but it’s something to consider.
If they’re not interested in talking to a ton of people, design your day to keep that to a minimum for them! Keep your sweetheart table separate and intimate. Work with your coordinator to delegate private time together.
Now this is where you might detect a little bit of 🌶️spice🌶️ in my tone. If your partner looks like they’d rather be ANYWHERE but with you on your wedding day, know that I will likely give them a few glares. I can’t help it!! I just find it ridiculous and unacceptable to get married “to get married”! Okay anyways. On to happier topics!
Colors. Simple Decor. DIY. Thrifted. Vintage.
If every wedding in 2023 could have a rainbow palette, I’ll die happy.
Color is so frowned upon in a lot of wedding spaces, and that’s just no fun! Colors can outwardly express your personality, and it’s so much fun!
Of course, if it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing! Don’t do a rainbow palette because that’s what Instagram is pushing.
Simple, DIY, thrifted, and vintage décor is such a sell for me. It’s usually cheaper, is definitely more sustainable, and is much more unique. Some rental companies even rent vintage furniture and mismatched plates! I highly recommend looking at rental options.
Getting married for love, not because it’s the “next logical step”.
If there’s something that grinds my gears the most about weddings, it’s this theory that you should get married because it’s “expected” or “logical” or “what you do when you get to this point”. WHEW BOY DOES IT GET ME HEATED!!
Getting married is a totally personal choice between YOU and your PARTNER. No one else. Not society, not your family, not your high school best friend. If you want to get married, HELL YEAH. If you don’t think it’s for you, that’s totally cool.
If you get to seventeen years with your partner and you’re just BEGGING for a ring, maybe evaluate that feeling! If you’re 2 months in and you just know they’re the one, I can’t blame you, I get it.
Getting married is no small feat. The party is expensive, the legal part is real hard to get out of (trust me, I got married too young and had to get divorced and wow it was not easy), and it’s a big decision! I can’t recommend couples’ counseling before marriage enough. Even if nothing is “wrong”, it’s like an oil change for your relationship.
DISCLAIMER: I absolutely understand when marriage is a logical choice for personal reasons. If that makes sense! My husband and I got married before our wedding because he’s military and I needed health insurance. But we were already engaged and wanted to get married anyway! Health insurance, housing, and so many other reasons call for the legality of marriage, and I completely get that. This is not what I’m talking about in this little text block so please don’t hate me hehe love ya
